Me? A Doctor?

I have always thought that becoming a doctor is way out of my league.  I have never been much of a student and I always assumed that all doctors are really smart and i would never be able to get through medical school.  Today my view of doctors and the medical world drastically changed.

I have met many many doctors in my life.  Some doctors are really nice and some doctors have no idea that there is such a concept of "nice."  To tell you the truth, that doesn't really bother me. Obviously i prefer seeing a doctor who is nice and  has good manners, but i would much rather see a doctor that has average intelligence, common decencey, and knows what he is doing.

Today i met a doctor that convinced me that i could become a doctor one day too.  Not only is this guy a doctor, he is the head of a department in the best cancer hospital in the world.  He was a pretty nice guy, but that's about it.  He couldn't read my chart.  He couldn't remember what his nurse told him about me 5 minutes prior to seeing me.

At the end of the day, he did solve my problem though, he wrote me more prescriptions for pain killers.  He destroyed any hope my parents had for me being pain free for the rest of my life.  He told my parents and i that the only way to treat my pain is with pain killers, and nothing else will work.  He didn't even mention physical therapy,  acupuncture, anything...

I can be an idiot, write prescriptions, and charge the insurance company $300 every time someone walks into my room. . . who needs medical school. . .?

The scary thing is, these doctors are supposed to be the best in their field . . .

Typical Night

Its almost 6 a.m. and i haven't slept for more than two hours.  The usual pain is keeping me awake, and maybe Glen Sather's brilliant trades he made today for the New York Rangers. 

What do you do to fall asleep? Especially if your not sleeping because of pain?

LETS GO RANGERS!

WHY?

Why do i have so much pain?  Why can't i play sports anymore? Why are more of my friends dying from cancer, than I'm making new friends on a daily basis. Why did i get cancer?  Why Why Why?

I don't know why all of these terrible things happen, but i do know that G-d doesn't just give anyone cancer, or chronic pain, or constant stomach aches and terrible nausea for no reason, G-d only gives it to people who are really strong, that can fight through all of these terrible things and show the world what real strength is and inspire people. . . 

Tell that to someone who is really suffering.  Tell that to someone who every time she eats gets terrible nausea and stomach pains. Tell that to some one who every day wakes up in the morning and is shaking from his chronic pain.  Tell that to 19 year old kids who all the Dr.'s say to them is "here take these pain killers, that will solve your problems!"

People, especially where i come from, live life expecting that every thing  they want is going to fall right into their lap without lifting a finger. People think that they are supposed to have health, family, friends money etc.. and cant fathom the idea that these are all privileges!!! 

I have a better question than "Why"....   Why Not?!

What is kidskickingcancer.blogspot.com?

Hi! my name is Dani Ross and i was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma PNET on march 29th 2005.   Since then, i have had a lot of trouble connecting with people about my daily struggles.  I cant even relate to my closest friends and family.  I created this blog to bring kids who have or had cancer together, so they can share their daily struggles with people who understand them.